1 00:00:06,973 --> 00:00:08,600 Previously on Weeds. 2 00:00:08,708 --> 00:00:10,505 We need to go far, far away. 3 00:00:10,610 --> 00:00:11,577 Copenhagen. 4 00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:13,270 - We're gonna need passports. - Okay. 5 00:00:13,446 --> 00:00:14,606 One more stop first. 6 00:00:14,714 --> 00:00:17,148 Mr. Schiff, the math teacher she boned in high school. 7 00:00:17,250 --> 00:00:18,217 Nancy. 8 00:00:18,318 --> 00:00:21,151 Are you sure you're okay with everybody staying here? 9 00:00:21,254 --> 00:00:22,516 What's mine is yours. 10 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:24,380 Lars Guinard. 11 00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:26,549 A loser boyfriend of your mother's. 12 00:00:26,926 --> 00:00:28,257 What's this Lars guy look like? 13 00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:29,328 He looked liked you. 14 00:00:29,429 --> 00:00:30,396 What the fuck are you doing? 15 00:00:30,497 --> 00:00:33,022 You can't just ring some guy's doorbell and ask if he's someone's father. 16 00:00:34,667 --> 00:00:35,861 Hey. Can I help you, bros? 17 00:00:36,102 --> 00:00:37,535 We noticed your car's for sale. 18 00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:38,738 Let me grab the keys. 19 00:00:39,572 --> 00:00:41,472 He is so your fucking dad. 20 00:00:41,674 --> 00:00:43,938 - Go to hell. - Yeah. Hell-sinki. 21 00:00:44,177 --> 00:00:45,872 No kid comes here to smoke hash. 22 00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:47,469 I need up, not down. 23 00:00:47,580 --> 00:00:49,639 One part grain alcohol, a dash of hash. 24 00:00:49,849 --> 00:00:50,816 A hint of Red Bull. 25 00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:52,741 My super-secret ingredient. 26 00:00:54,154 --> 00:00:55,416 I'm on fuego. 27 00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:56,522 It's perfect. 28 00:00:56,756 --> 00:00:57,723 I'll take ten cases. 29 00:00:58,024 --> 00:00:58,991 All right. 30 00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:01,719 Nancy Price? Ellis Tate. From high school. 31 00:01:01,828 --> 00:01:03,591 Do you want to get a coffee or something? 32 00:01:03,696 --> 00:01:04,663 My number. 33 00:01:08,935 --> 00:01:10,368 I found her. 34 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:29,715 So, I'll have the rest for you tomorrow, and you will, too, right? 35 00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:34,021 Don't worry. Check it out. It's "Wax On, Wax Off" night. 36 00:01:34,327 --> 00:01:37,091 Ladies who show me the bald stuff get in free. 37 00:01:37,197 --> 00:01:39,495 What about the guys that show you the bald stuff? 38 00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:42,498 What the fuck? That's just sick. 39 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,093 Thank you. 40 00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:53,672 So, you have all the connections, right? Like you have all the hook-ups? 41 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,938 I'm Hooman. What you need? 42 00:01:56,749 --> 00:01:57,977 Passports. 43 00:01:58,418 --> 00:02:00,511 Shit. For drugs? 44 00:02:01,488 --> 00:02:04,423 Listen up, Morocco. That's the place. I know a guy there. 45 00:02:04,591 --> 00:02:08,288 No. Okay. But, no. I just need passports. 46 00:02:08,561 --> 00:02:09,994 That's cool. I got the joint. 47 00:02:10,230 --> 00:02:13,393 I'll text you his info. You call first, set an appointment, 48 00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:16,833 and when you send your man over, he should say Jaka sent him. We're tight. 49 00:02:17,770 --> 00:02:19,601 When I send my man over? 50 00:02:19,739 --> 00:02:21,001 He's not gonna deal with a woman. 51 00:02:21,508 --> 00:02:25,342 No. Of course not. Why do you do that? 52 00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:29,639 That whole sexist thing? That whole oppression thing? Why do you do that? 53 00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:32,384 You guys scare the shit out of us. 54 00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:40,223 Funny Mike. I told you, man, the car's off the market. 55 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,526 How'd the girlfriend take it? 56 00:02:42,629 --> 00:02:45,257 She was thrilled. Hopes me and the car will be very happy together. 57 00:02:47,567 --> 00:02:49,626 You sure keeping the car is worth all this? 58 00:02:50,703 --> 00:02:52,193 I'm onto you, kid. No sale. 59 00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:56,069 You got me. Thought I'd give it one last shot. 60 00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:57,502 I can respect that. 61 00:02:59,879 --> 00:03:02,279 Hey, you need a hand with any of this stuff? 62 00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:06,343 Yeah, set it right there. Right, right... All right. 63 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,184 You should mail her all those hair trimmings. 64 00:03:13,726 --> 00:03:16,661 That shit got everywhere. Another thing I'm not gonna miss. 65 00:03:19,165 --> 00:03:20,689 Wait, how old are you? 66 00:03:21,734 --> 00:03:22,792 Nineteen. 67 00:03:22,902 --> 00:03:23,891 I'm no cop. 68 00:03:27,106 --> 00:03:28,073 Nineteen. 69 00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:30,808 When I was 19, I was in a Whitesnake cover band. 70 00:03:31,477 --> 00:03:32,967 You could have gone camping in my hair. 71 00:03:34,113 --> 00:03:36,547 God, the stupid things I did to get laid. 72 00:03:38,117 --> 00:03:39,982 In your bitchin' Camaro. 73 00:03:40,753 --> 00:03:42,186 That's right. 74 00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:47,086 Hey, Lars, where'd you go to high school? 75 00:03:47,193 --> 00:03:50,458 East Dearborn. "Take a liking to a Viking." 76 00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:51,822 Really? 77 00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:56,700 My mom went there. Nancy Price? 78 00:03:58,371 --> 00:04:00,066 Shut the fuck up. 79 00:04:00,873 --> 00:04:02,932 You're Nancy Price's kid? Dude, I used to... 80 00:04:05,945 --> 00:04:07,173 Your mom was my girlfriend. 81 00:04:09,148 --> 00:04:10,445 Seriously? 82 00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:12,412 You don't look anything like her. 83 00:04:19,525 --> 00:04:22,892 So, I'm thinking of getting a bunk bed set for you and Midas, 84 00:04:23,329 --> 00:04:25,923 but I don't wanna hear a lot of yelling about who gets the top. 85 00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:28,633 I don't think we're gonna be here for that long, Mr. Schiff. 86 00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:31,795 And you know, I think we can get a little wall in here 87 00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:34,132 and give you guys a little privacy. 88 00:04:34,407 --> 00:04:37,171 And you're right, you're only gonna be here a little while longer, 89 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,643 and then it's just gonna be me and your mom. 90 00:04:39,979 --> 00:04:41,037 And your hair dye. 91 00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:42,982 You think it works? 92 00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:46,809 - Mom. - Hey. 93 00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:49,613 Swan and I were bonding. 94 00:04:49,722 --> 00:04:52,589 Sweet. Honey, could you empty the car? 95 00:04:52,892 --> 00:04:53,859 Yeah. 96 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:55,527 Wanna see some plans? 97 00:04:55,995 --> 00:04:57,121 Some plans? 98 00:04:58,731 --> 00:05:04,226 If I empty out the second bedroom, you get an enormous closet space. 99 00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:06,896 And you use the master, of course. 100 00:05:07,006 --> 00:05:12,103 And I can put the massage table right here next to the bed. 101 00:05:12,412 --> 00:05:14,243 I don't want you to go to all that trouble. 102 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,249 The trouble is all behind us. 103 00:05:18,284 --> 00:05:23,119 Oh, Warren. Do you remember a student from high school 104 00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:26,657 - named Ellis Tate? - Ellis Tate. 105 00:05:26,793 --> 00:05:29,057 - Yeah. - Big black guy? No, that's Enos. 106 00:05:31,431 --> 00:05:33,729 Yeah. Ellis Tate. I think I do. 107 00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:36,301 Yeah, yeah. Nebbishy, white guy, glasses... 108 00:05:36,402 --> 00:05:37,562 Fat girl. 109 00:05:38,471 --> 00:05:39,995 Yeah, I'm pretty sure. 110 00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:44,905 I remember she was very good at geometry and lunch. 111 00:05:45,311 --> 00:05:48,212 Okay, that pure fun-magic showerhead. 112 00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:52,442 Pure fun and magical. First it was green, and then it was red, 113 00:05:52,552 --> 00:05:55,749 and then holy shit, I'm showering blue. It's like I'm shrooming. 114 00:05:56,622 --> 00:05:59,716 Only thing that would've made it better is a large-breasted fairy in there with me. 115 00:06:00,059 --> 00:06:01,458 Andy, can I talk to you? 116 00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:16,775 Check it out, guys. Purifying wand. I'm so over Brita. 117 00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:19,537 After everything else you ingest, you're worried about water? 118 00:06:21,547 --> 00:06:22,878 I got a lead on passports. 119 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,446 Nice work, Nancy Drew. 120 00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:28,349 The address is in there. Along with cash and our pictures. 121 00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:31,619 - You're not coming with? - Apparently, it's a no-lady zone. 122 00:06:31,824 --> 00:06:32,916 Turkish bath? 123 00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:35,553 Hey, what'd you use for my picture? 124 00:06:38,164 --> 00:06:39,995 The one where I'm eating cheesecake on a stick? 125 00:06:44,337 --> 00:06:45,964 Okay. That's cool. 126 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:48,097 No, I just assumed you had your own passport. 127 00:06:48,441 --> 00:06:49,465 Well, not on me. 128 00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:52,405 All right, I got some calls to make. 129 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,611 Tell him Hooman Jaka sent you. 130 00:06:55,014 --> 00:06:57,244 Hooman Jaka. Loved him in Star Wars. 131 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,585 Hi. Can you point me towards the old yearbooks? 132 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:07,457 If you're looking for Bob Seger, those ones were vandalized years ago. 133 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:14,799 Bob is an acquired taste. I was looking for '84 to '87 actually. 134 00:07:15,401 --> 00:07:16,663 Nobody good in those years. 135 00:07:17,503 --> 00:07:19,562 But hang on, I'll get them. 136 00:07:21,307 --> 00:07:22,274 Nancy Price. 137 00:07:23,976 --> 00:07:25,273 Hi there. 138 00:07:26,813 --> 00:07:28,110 Patricia Davies. 139 00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:31,741 Sure. Right. 140 00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:35,618 We were in the same class together, here, at this school. 141 00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:39,187 Patricia. Of course. Great to see you. 142 00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:41,518 So, do you have kids here? 143 00:07:41,727 --> 00:07:45,663 No. I'm just looking up old yearbooks. You know, Viking pride. 144 00:07:45,765 --> 00:07:48,256 Viking pride. Right. Right. 145 00:07:49,902 --> 00:07:52,166 You told Maureen Byrne I was a prude. 146 00:07:53,739 --> 00:07:55,366 In the locker room after gym. 147 00:07:55,908 --> 00:08:01,972 You said, if I ever let a dick inside me, it would turn into a Popsicle. 148 00:08:04,083 --> 00:08:07,018 Then everyone started calling me "Popsicle Patty." 149 00:08:09,455 --> 00:08:13,255 Patricia, wow. I have no memory of that, 150 00:08:13,726 --> 00:08:16,752 but that was mean of me. 151 00:08:18,030 --> 00:08:18,997 Sorry. 152 00:08:20,766 --> 00:08:23,633 I slept with 14 guys my junior year. 153 00:08:25,104 --> 00:08:27,129 I got kicked out of my house. 154 00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:29,364 Never quite made it to college. 155 00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:32,234 I'm just waiting on the librarian. 156 00:08:32,378 --> 00:08:35,279 Oh, Phyllis. She takes her time. 157 00:08:36,148 --> 00:08:39,083 Which is why they hired me, the librarian's assistant. 158 00:08:39,986 --> 00:08:40,953 Fun stuff. 159 00:08:43,122 --> 00:08:46,148 I have had herpes for 27 years. 160 00:08:48,394 --> 00:08:49,361 But I am no prude. 161 00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:54,099 '84 through '87. We all miss those days. 162 00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:55,894 - It was lots of fun. - Yeah. 163 00:08:58,738 --> 00:08:59,864 Bitch! 164 00:09:16,255 --> 00:09:17,813 Ellis, hi. 165 00:09:18,090 --> 00:09:21,526 Nancy. Price, yeah. 166 00:09:22,595 --> 00:09:28,295 Listen, turns out I am feeling kind of nostalgic. 167 00:09:29,335 --> 00:09:31,166 Yeah. Yeah, let's. 168 00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:33,828 Where are you staying? 169 00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:37,943 Okay. 170 00:09:39,946 --> 00:09:43,746 Why don't we meet halfway? 171 00:09:45,618 --> 00:09:47,176 D'Angelo's on Miller Road? 172 00:09:48,454 --> 00:09:49,443 Yeah, when? 173 00:09:50,189 --> 00:09:51,713 Okay, perfect. 174 00:09:52,892 --> 00:09:53,859 Yeah, bye. 175 00:10:03,502 --> 00:10:07,495 Daoud Mahmud. Please, if you're hurt, do not stand for me. 176 00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:09,604 Randy Newman. And I'm not injured. 177 00:10:11,143 --> 00:10:13,737 Though I did lose some toes to an Armenian dog once. 178 00:10:14,513 --> 00:10:18,882 This Armenian dog, actual dog or an angry reference to a national? 179 00:10:20,886 --> 00:10:22,911 I am looking to get some passports. 180 00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:25,552 So go to the passport office. 181 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,093 No. "Passports." 182 00:10:29,028 --> 00:10:31,656 Passports for bunny rabbits? 183 00:10:33,532 --> 00:10:35,898 "What's he talking about?" "I don't know." 184 00:10:36,002 --> 00:10:37,026 "He must be police." 185 00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:41,606 Police? No, no. Hooman Jaka sent me. I'm sorry. I should've led with that. 186 00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:44,369 Hooman. 187 00:10:45,044 --> 00:10:48,639 That fucking piece of shit, cocksucker. I spit on Hooman Jaka. 188 00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:49,715 You're his friend? 189 00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:53,546 Friend? No, no. I've never even met the guy. What a jackass. 190 00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:55,978 We've done a little business together. 191 00:10:56,255 --> 00:10:57,745 So, you're a crook piece of shit, too. 192 00:10:57,923 --> 00:11:00,756 Okay, if I may, fuck Jaka. 193 00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:03,859 I had to get to you, Daoud, for my family. 194 00:11:04,764 --> 00:11:07,358 I had to find you and pray that you could help us. 195 00:11:07,967 --> 00:11:12,666 Think of me and my family as farmers, seeking shade in a summer drought, 196 00:11:13,439 --> 00:11:15,703 with a plague of locusts eating our fields. 197 00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:19,506 My father was a farmer. 198 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:21,874 In Jordan. 199 00:11:22,815 --> 00:11:25,943 When I make my "fuck you" money, I will retire and follow in his footsteps. 200 00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:29,245 Except in Kansas, and with a staff to do the actual work. 201 00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:31,322 We were just in Kansas. Godspeed. 202 00:11:31,457 --> 00:11:36,724 Did I mention, I have a very cute baby in grave danger? 203 00:11:42,234 --> 00:11:43,667 Takes after his mother. 204 00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:46,398 I sense your desperation. 205 00:11:46,772 --> 00:11:47,898 Thank you. 206 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:58,006 Come to this address. Tonight. 5:00. 207 00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:02,217 Another address. Okay, could you MapQuest it for me, 208 00:12:02,321 --> 00:12:05,449 'cause the roads around here... I'm gonna leave a little extra time. 209 00:12:06,826 --> 00:12:12,458 Okay, so what about a baseball theme for the bedroom? 210 00:12:12,631 --> 00:12:13,962 Yeah. You're out of bread. 211 00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:16,600 Look, you just make a list of your favorite things 212 00:12:16,702 --> 00:12:18,533 and we'll stock up on some of them. 213 00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,166 I don't know if you should be drinking that. 214 00:12:23,275 --> 00:12:27,507 And don't forget to include some stuff for your mother. 215 00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:31,741 Unless she's still trying to live on Doritos and Tab. 216 00:12:31,884 --> 00:12:33,579 Dude, give up the dream. 217 00:12:37,389 --> 00:12:40,984 Look, I'm not an idiot. 218 00:12:41,193 --> 00:12:43,058 I know she's not committed. 219 00:12:43,462 --> 00:12:48,195 Yet. But, your mother loved me once, 220 00:12:48,901 --> 00:12:51,836 and that will happen again. 221 00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:55,205 How out of touch are you? We're leaving. 222 00:12:55,307 --> 00:12:56,865 Like on a family vacation? 223 00:12:57,009 --> 00:12:59,534 Yeah. Just like that, only we're never coming back. 224 00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:02,547 No. 225 00:13:03,749 --> 00:13:05,683 No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. 226 00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:07,085 This can't be happening. 227 00:13:07,186 --> 00:13:08,153 Not again. 228 00:13:09,321 --> 00:13:13,314 She just returned. She can't just leave me again. 229 00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:20,030 - I can't swallow. - Hey, Warren? 230 00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:23,192 - I can't swallow. - Relax. I didn't mean right away. 231 00:13:25,437 --> 00:13:27,837 And what does that mean? "Relax, Warren." 232 00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:30,700 Everybody's always telling me to, "Relax, Warren. Relax." 233 00:13:31,277 --> 00:13:32,869 What does that... What do you mean? 234 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:36,206 For months? For weeks? What? 235 00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:39,117 Have you answered me? 236 00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:45,414 There's something happening, really weird, with my eyes. 237 00:13:51,063 --> 00:13:52,030 Are you bouncing? 238 00:14:06,212 --> 00:14:11,514 How did that work? You guys dated in high school and it fizzled out? 239 00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:13,507 Something like that. I don't know. 240 00:14:13,619 --> 00:14:16,918 We did that on-and-off thing for a while. Holiday break hook-ups. 241 00:14:17,256 --> 00:14:22,592 Nothing official, but hey, sometimes a faucet still drips after you turn it off. 242 00:14:25,898 --> 00:14:27,627 It was sweet, though. You know? 243 00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:32,837 - Want another... - I think I'm your son. 244 00:14:37,509 --> 00:14:38,840 I think I'm your son. 245 00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:45,448 Here's the thing. I'm probably wrong. I don't know anything for sure. 246 00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:49,612 It's just that timing-wise, it could be, and maybe you haven't noticed, 247 00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,247 but we kind of look... Should I stand? 248 00:14:52,791 --> 00:14:53,917 No. 249 00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:56,519 Let's both sit. 250 00:14:58,430 --> 00:15:00,864 Wait, so, have you asked her? 251 00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:04,396 No. No, not yet. 252 00:15:05,504 --> 00:15:07,096 Mother of shit. 253 00:15:08,274 --> 00:15:10,640 Yeah, that pretty much covers it. 254 00:15:12,711 --> 00:15:15,805 I'm sorry, I should go. I didn't mean to drop this on you. 255 00:15:16,048 --> 00:15:18,209 I don't know what I meant to do, 256 00:15:18,317 --> 00:15:22,481 but I don't want you to feel like you have to do anything 257 00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:26,752 or take care of me or be my dad or whatever. 258 00:15:32,798 --> 00:15:36,564 I'm gonna take off. Thanks for the beer. 259 00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:50,244 I hope you understand the need for this. 260 00:15:50,749 --> 00:15:52,808 You can never be sure of who's listening in the office. 261 00:15:52,918 --> 00:15:59,016 Totally. So, I need five American. 262 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:00,918 No. 263 00:16:01,026 --> 00:16:02,550 American passports are too tough. 264 00:16:02,995 --> 00:16:06,089 I could do Iceland. Their economy has tanked and they're on fire. 265 00:16:06,398 --> 00:16:07,365 That's good for you. 266 00:16:07,933 --> 00:16:10,663 $5,000 each, half in cash up front. 267 00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:13,700 Deal. Except I only have $3,000. 268 00:16:15,741 --> 00:16:18,141 I was right. You are a crook piece of shit. 269 00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:34,292 See you. 270 00:16:34,526 --> 00:16:35,754 Wedding insanity. 271 00:16:36,095 --> 00:16:39,064 A wedding. Wow. Congratulations. 272 00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:44,462 No. Do not congratulate me. Hooman Jaka is to be my daughter's husband. 273 00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,763 Hooman. Yes. We hate Hooman. 274 00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:48,133 Shiite piece of garbage. 275 00:16:48,407 --> 00:16:49,931 Right. You're not Shia, I take it. 276 00:16:50,409 --> 00:16:52,502 Of course not. I'm Jordanian Sunni. 277 00:16:53,112 --> 00:16:55,171 You think I will let my daughter marry a Shiite? 278 00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:57,515 To plant a tomato in a corn field? 279 00:16:57,616 --> 00:17:01,643 No, tomatoes are over here and corn is over here. That's common sense. 280 00:17:01,887 --> 00:17:05,220 Randy, my desperate, crooked friend, 281 00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:09,160 I have a proposal for you. 282 00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:13,831 I will get you your passports. 283 00:17:14,099 --> 00:17:17,296 In return, you will make certain this wedding does not happen. 284 00:17:21,006 --> 00:17:23,236 I see. So, you want me to break them up? 285 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,102 Break them up? No. Not good enough. 286 00:17:28,447 --> 00:17:29,414 Dead. 287 00:17:30,682 --> 00:17:32,411 I want him dead. 288 00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:36,479 Okay. Or, I could just break them up. 289 00:17:36,622 --> 00:17:38,920 I've already tried that with somebody much more handsome than you. 290 00:17:39,925 --> 00:17:43,156 Maybe in the conventional terms of your culture... 291 00:17:43,262 --> 00:17:47,926 Listen to me. If you want your passports, you will kill that douchebag and fast. 292 00:17:49,134 --> 00:17:52,433 I have to put down a deposit for the caterer next week. 293 00:18:01,713 --> 00:18:03,112 So, do we have our passports? 294 00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:05,978 Slight bend in that river. 295 00:18:06,151 --> 00:18:07,118 What? 296 00:18:07,953 --> 00:18:08,920 Do we need more money? 297 00:18:09,054 --> 00:18:11,818 No. We need Shane. 298 00:18:11,957 --> 00:18:13,652 - What? - We have to kill somebody. 299 00:18:14,193 --> 00:18:18,357 Hooman, actually. He's supposed to marry Daoud's daughter. 300 00:18:18,530 --> 00:18:19,656 Really? 301 00:18:21,066 --> 00:18:22,658 He is kind of a douche. 302 00:18:22,801 --> 00:18:23,927 Nancy. 303 00:18:24,970 --> 00:18:26,232 I'm not killing anybody. 304 00:18:26,338 --> 00:18:29,899 I know. I know. Just... We really, really need those passports. 305 00:18:30,242 --> 00:18:32,369 Just get creative. 306 00:18:32,511 --> 00:18:33,637 "Get creative"? 307 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:36,778 I'm always getting creative while you're out getting... 308 00:18:38,217 --> 00:18:39,241 Where are you, anyway? 309 00:18:39,351 --> 00:18:41,319 - I gotta go. Sorry. Sorry, I gotta go. - Nancy, hang on. 310 00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:49,518 You hos always leaving stuff behind. 311 00:18:49,761 --> 00:18:53,026 Now find your bag of dildos and make sure you lock the door on the way out. 312 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,565 I'll just be a minute. 313 00:18:56,702 --> 00:18:57,669 Thank you. 314 00:19:38,577 --> 00:19:42,741 Guess I'm not so good at this undercover thing. 315 00:19:44,583 --> 00:19:45,550 Fuck! 316 00:19:46,418 --> 00:19:48,113 - Who are you? - Shit. 317 00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:53,356 - Creepy stalking son-of-a... - Journalist. 318 00:19:53,458 --> 00:19:54,425 What? 319 00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:57,322 Journalist. San Diego County Tribune. 320 00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:02,100 See for yourself. 321 00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:05,969 "Vaughn Coleman." 322 00:20:06,772 --> 00:20:08,433 People always assume I'm black. 323 00:20:10,642 --> 00:20:12,041 Why are you following me? 324 00:20:12,611 --> 00:20:14,374 Because I'm writing your story. 325 00:20:26,124 --> 00:20:27,921 Hey, little boy. You want some candy? 326 00:20:30,195 --> 00:20:31,219 Jesus. 327 00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:35,526 Your mom never even mentioned this guy. When did they date? 328 00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:36,894 The timing adds up. 329 00:20:37,436 --> 00:20:41,429 Wonky math does not a father make. 330 00:20:42,841 --> 00:20:44,103 You haven't seen him. 331 00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:46,009 What, he's blonde? 332 00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:50,438 There's plenty of Nordic in our family. You never heard of Great Uncle Hans? 333 00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:55,216 Yeah. Crazy Finn. You are Judah's son, no question. 334 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:59,279 I was there on the day you were born. I saw him staring at you for hours, 335 00:20:59,691 --> 00:21:00,658 in total awe. 336 00:21:01,860 --> 00:21:03,794 Probably looking for a resemblance. 337 00:21:04,896 --> 00:21:09,526 Okay. So, you met a cool guy... Wait, is he cool? 338 00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:12,269 He drives a Camaro. 339 00:21:12,371 --> 00:21:13,338 Weak. 340 00:21:16,074 --> 00:21:18,269 He's easy. 341 00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:23,214 Okay, you met an easy guy, who looks like you, that your mom used to date. 342 00:21:23,348 --> 00:21:27,182 Fuck. My point is, he's not your dad. Judah's your dad. 343 00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:30,380 But you're looking for something. I get that. 344 00:21:30,489 --> 00:21:32,514 I'm not looking for anything. 345 00:21:33,025 --> 00:21:35,391 I just wanna fucking know the truth for a change. 346 00:21:36,762 --> 00:21:38,127 Truth is, you're a Botwin. 347 00:21:38,730 --> 00:21:42,257 Admittedly, that can be difficult. We're a brood of tortured souls. 348 00:21:43,835 --> 00:21:46,201 But that's the beauty of a tribe. We can kvetch. 349 00:21:47,372 --> 00:21:49,363 Maybe I'll kvetch to Mom about this. 350 00:21:49,641 --> 00:21:50,608 Great idea. 351 00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:54,012 Talk to her. She'll clear it all up. 352 00:22:00,052 --> 00:22:03,215 I have so much energy. 353 00:22:04,723 --> 00:22:05,917 Okay, see, he's not doing it right. 354 00:22:06,024 --> 00:22:08,356 You gotta embrace the light and dark equally. 355 00:22:10,595 --> 00:22:14,929 She's my true north, and if she leaves me, I'm nothing. 356 00:22:15,934 --> 00:22:20,030 So, if she leaves me, I'm gonna kill myself. 357 00:22:20,572 --> 00:22:21,539 Bummer. 358 00:22:22,741 --> 00:22:25,471 All right, killer. I hate to break the news to you, man, but I gotta take off. 359 00:22:25,711 --> 00:22:28,145 I'm gonna grab my passport and be back hopefully by tomorrow. 360 00:22:28,447 --> 00:22:29,414 You got my cell number, right? 361 00:22:29,581 --> 00:22:30,548 What do you think? 362 00:22:31,650 --> 00:22:34,983 Okay, well, Andy's got it. Do not leave for Copenhagen without me. 363 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,351 What am I supposed to do with Teach? 364 00:22:37,689 --> 00:22:39,384 Keep an eye on him. Make sure he eats. 365 00:22:39,491 --> 00:22:40,924 And don't let him sleep on his back. 366 00:22:42,260 --> 00:22:44,592 Always the babysitter. Awesome. 367 00:22:45,731 --> 00:22:49,258 You need to update your photo, Vaughn. Time hasn't been good to the old hairline. 368 00:22:50,402 --> 00:22:52,233 So, tell me. What... 369 00:22:52,904 --> 00:22:54,303 Everything. Tell me everything you know. 370 00:22:54,940 --> 00:22:57,340 Actually, I was hoping you'd tell me everything you know. 371 00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:02,939 Okay, I started out doing a story on Esteban Reyes 372 00:23:03,281 --> 00:23:05,306 and his connection to Pilar Zuazo. 373 00:23:06,418 --> 00:23:07,908 Then, she turned up dead. 374 00:23:08,186 --> 00:23:14,557 And you, American wife of Mexican politicianlgangster, disappeared. 375 00:23:16,795 --> 00:23:18,763 You should go back to San Diego. 376 00:23:19,431 --> 00:23:23,993 Write about Comic-Con and Captain Magnetard or whatever. 377 00:23:24,403 --> 00:23:28,203 You think I'm some sort of a jerk-off basement blogger? 378 00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:31,266 I've won awards. 379 00:23:31,676 --> 00:23:34,474 If you print a single word, I'll deny it all. 380 00:23:34,579 --> 00:23:36,513 To that fact-checker person. I can do that. 381 00:23:36,748 --> 00:23:38,181 That's from a movie, Nancy. 382 00:23:39,584 --> 00:23:41,176 This isn't Almost Famous. 383 00:23:45,123 --> 00:23:48,820 I'm gonna do this story with or without your input. 384 00:23:49,494 --> 00:23:52,224 I'll fill in details if I have to. It would make me sad, 385 00:23:52,330 --> 00:23:56,630 I do have my ethics, but hey, James Frey still has a book deal. 386 00:23:56,935 --> 00:23:57,993 And I want mine. 387 00:23:58,270 --> 00:23:59,965 What if there isn't anything to tell? 388 00:24:00,105 --> 00:24:01,504 Drugs, tunnels, murder... 389 00:24:01,873 --> 00:24:03,704 I know my fucking story. 390 00:24:09,181 --> 00:24:10,239 Who else knows we're here? 391 00:24:11,249 --> 00:24:13,683 My editor knows I found you, but I didn't tell him where. 392 00:24:15,487 --> 00:24:19,253 But if I was able to find you, how long before the bad guys find you? 393 00:24:19,591 --> 00:24:21,286 And I don't mean the FBI. 394 00:24:22,093 --> 00:24:23,993 Because they will. Soon. 395 00:24:24,830 --> 00:24:27,424 But we can expose them first. 396 00:24:28,033 --> 00:24:31,730 - I can help you. - Clark Kent to my rescue. 397 00:24:32,571 --> 00:24:34,835 Are you telling me, after all's said and done, 398 00:24:36,208 --> 00:24:38,438 you don't want your story on the record? 399 00:25:02,300 --> 00:25:06,236 - Hey, I'm Nathalie's guy. - Who? 400 00:25:06,404 --> 00:25:08,702 The drink. I help make the drink. 401 00:25:09,674 --> 00:25:12,837 Bro! That drink is popping off in here. 402 00:25:13,745 --> 00:25:15,872 Good. Yeah. Yeah. 403 00:25:16,615 --> 00:25:18,549 Dudes are like, "What!" 404 00:25:18,650 --> 00:25:22,177 Three chicks just did a dirty carpool right in the middle of the dance floor. 405 00:25:22,854 --> 00:25:24,719 - What? - Exactly. 406 00:25:26,224 --> 00:25:28,920 We've been calling this shit "The Leg-Spreader." 407 00:25:29,027 --> 00:25:33,623 Oh, really? We were gonna call it 72 Virgins, or C4. 408 00:25:34,032 --> 00:25:35,659 Right? 'Cause it makes you explode. 409 00:25:36,568 --> 00:25:37,535 Not cool. 410 00:25:37,869 --> 00:25:39,029 Sorry. Leg-Spreader? 411 00:25:39,137 --> 00:25:41,503 Hell, yeah. You got more for me? 412 00:25:42,707 --> 00:25:46,700 Not yet. I'm here with some slightly bad news. 413 00:25:47,779 --> 00:25:49,371 I've been asked to kill you. 414 00:25:49,814 --> 00:25:52,009 Bill me? No, I already paid Nathalie the cash. 415 00:25:52,817 --> 00:25:54,375 Kill you. 416 00:25:56,488 --> 00:25:57,716 You're punking. 417 00:25:58,156 --> 00:25:59,123 "Blumpkin"? 418 00:25:59,224 --> 00:26:00,782 What the fuck are you talking about? 419 00:26:00,959 --> 00:26:04,725 Mr. Mahmud wants you dead. Don't worry, we're not killers. 420 00:26:04,829 --> 00:26:05,796 Not me anyway. 421 00:26:06,097 --> 00:26:09,589 Mr. Mahmud? I sent you guys to him for passports. 422 00:26:10,135 --> 00:26:11,693 Sort of a cruel twist. 423 00:26:11,836 --> 00:26:13,701 Anyway, it turns out he hates you, 424 00:26:13,805 --> 00:26:16,865 and would rather do anything than let you marry his daughter, 425 00:26:16,975 --> 00:26:18,704 which includes having you killed. 426 00:26:20,111 --> 00:26:21,840 I've been nothing but good to his daughter. 427 00:26:22,614 --> 00:26:24,275 You see me dipping it in the candy here? 428 00:26:24,382 --> 00:26:25,371 - No. - No. 429 00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:32,923 It's because I'm Shia, isn't it? Fucking racist Jordanian piece of shit. 430 00:26:33,391 --> 00:26:36,849 Look, I think we can help you. Want us to help you? 431 00:26:38,463 --> 00:26:39,430 I guess so. 432 00:26:39,531 --> 00:26:42,762 Yeah. Okay. That's the spirit. And hey, you get to help us, too. 433 00:26:43,134 --> 00:26:44,101 Bro-five! 434 00:26:47,339 --> 00:26:49,933 - What? - Nothing. I forgot where I was for a sec. 435 00:26:52,777 --> 00:26:53,903 Let's talk. 436 00:26:56,548 --> 00:26:58,607 You better keep up your end of the bargain or I... 437 00:27:00,385 --> 00:27:01,352 You know my history. 438 00:27:02,420 --> 00:27:03,387 You'll marry me? 439 00:27:05,757 --> 00:27:07,486 Kidding, kidding. Sorry. 440 00:27:08,593 --> 00:27:10,151 I promise. I'll hold up my end. 441 00:27:23,842 --> 00:27:25,400 My name is Nancy Botwin.